Own the Suck!

Given the sinking fortunes of the Baltimore Orioles, I have concocted a new slogan for the 2010 season:

“Own the suck!”

I will be the first to admit that I was under no illusions that this season would differ greatly from the preceding twelve (12!).  My theory behind this new slogan is quite simple, really.

1. If the team is this bad, why not embrace it as opposed to rejecting it outright?
2. While the 1988 Orioles started the season 0-21, why not shoot to best that with a 1-24 record to start the 2010 season?
3. If we are going to be swept by what was deemed as the worst team in the AL East for this season, why not strive to be swept by the divisional competition?

In other words, if the Orioles are going to be bad, own it.  Don’t shy away from the ignominious distinction of being the worst team in the majors–as of this writing, the O’s are 1-11.  It reminds me of one of my favorite moments from The Simpsons:

Bart: No offense, Homer, but your half-assed underparenting was a lot more fun than your half-assed overparenting.
Homer: But I’m using my whole ass.

In other words, let’s not half-ass our attempts at sucking.  Let’s use our whole ass to suck.

My t-shirt idea to further the cause of “owning the suck,” with apologies for my feeble attempts at design:

Let’s honor the 2010 Orioles as being, in Homer’s immortal words, the “suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.”