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As the year winds down, I find myself engaging in a pursuit of reflection. Maybe it’s a pathetic attempt at filling the annals of this here blog, but I think it is also a way for me to spend some more time pondering those things that I have not spent as much time pondering as I should.

The last year has been an interesting one, to be sure. I decided to hop on one of the horses of the job merry-go-round. Admittedly, this was out-of-sorts for anyone who knows me and how much I tend to crave order. Let’s face it: I tend to be risk-averse and do not change overnight. Yet, here I was job-hopping like it was going out of style. I have to admit that I really like where I have landed now. As I have said, it has been keeping me busy. Nonetheless, I enjoy being busy in this way–learning new things, being part of a team, and making valuable contributions. Although the adage is a tad overused, out of chaos comes order.

Personally, the year has been full of change. I am still dealing with my mother and all of her issues. On one level, I am taking a very long view of the situation. At the end of the day, my mother needs to come around and focus on the things that will better her situation, and she needs to do this for herself. I am talking with her again, and I am getting the impression that she has made this realization. I take this with a grain of salt, considering I have heard this all the time with my sister through the years. Still, I miss having my mother a bit more available to me. I tend to be quite private, but I miss having my mother around to discuss those things that only a mother and son can share. It’s a long road ahead, though, and time will tell.

My nephew continues to move along, and he is doing quite well considering what was arrayed against him at an early age. I am proud of what he has done thus far, but I sometimes feel bad that I cannot do more. It is frustrating at times talking to him because I can see my sister coming through in some of the things he says or in some of the ways he acts. Even with those moments, I know he has a good head on his shoulders. Each year, there is some way he makes me proud, and I am lucky enough to have him as my nephew.

There have been some scares in the family, too. I am worried about both of my living grandparents, and sometimes I catch myself thinking about losing them. Both have had cancer scares, but my grandmother seems to be out of the woods for the time being. My grandfather, on the other hand, is still going through his treatments. I worry about him the most, though. As I said before, I was not terribly surprised when I learned of his diagnosis. The old man is doing alright, but I worry about him more than I would ever admit to him.

On other personal fronts, I find myself lamenting the passage of friendship, of sorts. I am more lamenting the “falling out of touch” with folks in the past year. I am mostly to blame for this, as it is so easy to pick up a phone, drop an email, or drop an instant message to someone. Still, it is so hard to keep up with folks. I am somewhat angry that I have not done a better job of staying in touch with childhood friends, and I find myself making it harder to stay in touch with those people. The same thing goes for my college friends, especially as they start families of their own. At times, my refrigerator has looked like a maternity ward with the photos of various newborn children.  I am happy for them, but my Christmas cards this year overflow with photos of children.  There are other people who I have fell out of touch with, and I lament that as well.  So, with all this falling out of touch, I am going to do my best to get back in touch with these folks.

This year has had its share of ups and downs on the relationship front, but I cannot say that the downs were truly that.  Things are going well on this front, and I am enjoying it.  I don’t know where it is going to take me, but I can at least enjoy the ride for now.   It’s been a good one.

Enough blathering on in some sort of self-referential pity party.  Time to enjoy the holidays, get in touch with friends and family, and get ready for the New Year.