liveinlove: I like hugs. You offering?

You can’t control another adult, particularly an elder. You are doing the wise thing to keep her problem from infecting your life. Any resources she drains off are no longer there for you or your nephew. You two still have a chance. Until your mother decides she has a chance, she doesn’t have one.

I’ll sound really cold when I say this, but anybody who thinks they have to steal groceries is wrong. Between soup kitchens, food stamps, and living on jelly sandwiches (a post-college trick of mine) for the week, IT CAN BE DONE. If you have a child in your care, then you qualify for WIC. Yes, assistance means filling out forms, but it beats hunger. Of course addiction changes everything, and I understand that. Sadly, a change of venue is really just a setback to getting a supply if the person still really has the desire.

Look at it this way–if you impoverish yourself and start spending lots of work time on the phone or in courts over this stuff, your mother is propped up for a short time at a GREAT cost. That can’t happen, and you know it. We have troubles along these lines with DH’s family, and we refuse to subsidize a thing.

Here’s hoping your mom finds her way. Maybe she can hook up with social services; sometimes a stranger can get through in a way that the family cannot.